Dating Play Hard To Get
von Oleg R. · 02.09.2017
Studies have confirmed it works if you play it right. But does playing hard to get work on men? When women do this, it's done both subconsciously or deliberately. Guys do it, too. Except when they do it, we call it "weighing their options" or "scared to settle down. We asked guys if reading the signs was really all that simple: When women play hard to get, is it a turn-on, turn-off, or just plain confusing? Here's what they said. Every woman does it. I'm a guy, I want to feel like I worked hard to get your attention and that you're not just paying attention to me because I'm the last one at the bar before last call.
It lets me know she's interested. The bottom line is that if you're happy, and carefree, people will notice. Go out with your friends. Don't be a wallflower. It's hard to play hard to get if you're never out on the town. Do fun things that make you happy and you'll stop wondering how to play hard to get and start living it. Go to social events, join clubs at school, ask your friends to introduce your to their friends. Really take interest in those people.
The more people you know, the more credible your busy schedule will be. The key is to keep the other person asking questions so that they can find out more about you. If asked what you did last weekend, say "I hung out with some people I know. You don't want to sound completely uninterested or flippant, so even if you keep your answers short, keep them sweet as well. The habit of never quite answering with the entire facts can be a useful habit to start even at the beginning of a confirmed relationship, as it lets the other person know what will happen if they pry too much!
This lets you maintain your boundaries. If he or she calls you, don't answer all the time, and wait a day or two before calling back. A good rule of thumb is to wait about twice as long as they do before calling back. If the call is urgent, for example, if they want to make plans for that night, consider ignoring the call; it'll show the person that your time is valuable, and if they want to get together, they need to plan accordingly.
Of course, accept that sometimes a spontaneous date can be romantic and fun, but that's not the main subject of this article. In terms of texting, it's generally a good idea to avoid responding immediately. Say "maybe" or that you're "not sure" and that you have to check your schedule. Ask them to get back to you later in the day, or the following day.
And occasionally, say you can't make it because you have other plans. Of course, if you're interested in this person, offer to make plans on a day that you're supposedly free, whether it's the day after or the next weekend. Whenever someone gets clingy, pull away. Shy away from firm answers or commitments. Try to leave as many options open for yourself as possible, for as long as possible.
Expect anyone you date to follow the steps in How to Tame a Free Spirit. It's also helpful if you know how to spot the signs of a clingy person, including: They constantly email, text, or phone you even though you haven't responded to anything. They'll even call to say "I missed a call. Often it's before you're even up. You have observed that they don't seem to do much else in their life, apart from hanging around you. When you ask them what they do, they can't really tell you anything else other than going to work or studies.
Insecurity stalks them like a hunter follows prey. It's also clear from talking to them that they have a happiness deficit with respect to their own life and sense of life's purpose. Related to their insecurity is the need to agree with everything you say. You can spend hours telling them the dullest details of your hobby or work and they sit there, riveted.